Star Crafty

Feeling slightly miserable. Not really, just confused and...defeated? Today's photography critique of last week's studio flowers went a bit better than expected. Some of my fellow classmates gave some good advice on how to expand this project as best as I could in the next two weeks.

But something else is nagging me. Something far more serious. In the process of rebuilding my portfolio site for my Digi Web class, I am slowly realizing I really have no strong images. Now, before you start accusing me of being silly and whatnot, seriously, look at my photography. Yes, I like them all as they were my children and I enjoy looking at them.

But that's me. I'm not my future employer. No decent photographer/magazine/studio house/whatever will hire me based on these. If anything, they scream, and very loudly, "amateur".

I spent four years practicing filmmaking, only to realize it really isn't my thing at all. And for the last two years I have immersed myself in photography. This time, only to realize the quality of my work is fairly unresolved and questionable for a six-year Senior.

Lately, I've been wondering (and reluctantly accepting) if the commercial photography world is the right track for me. Heck, if there's any right track laid out for me. Maybe I should devote the majority of my time and effort into the indie craft scene, which I'm actually very passionate about (and I do know my stuff is good). I often dream of opening up my little "Mutation in a box" kinda shop, and I'd be so happy doing so. As for photography, I'd do it as a hobby, or more in the fine-art league.

But is that what I studied six years for?

Life is full surprises, some that you half expect and others can throw you off-balance if you don't react quick enough.

I dunno. *sigh* All I do know is that I am shipping my bony ass to New York City soon, and we shall see what that does to my creativity in general.