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December 28, 2006
And I'm a lucky man with fire in my hands.
The sixth year (or fifth, whatever) of this new Millennium was/is undoubtedly the year I lost contact with myself in all sorts of ways. For 11 months and a half I felt my focus in life slipping away like nothing I've ever experienced before. The first pivotal event of my adult life, the long-awaited college graduation, only yielded more tears and confusion and an overwhelming unshakable anxiety of the most negative kind. A breakup that, yet again, I did not know how to handle, paving a treacherous way for the anger to claim my words and state of mind.
But for every instance where I leaned backwards to fall, a little beam of light shot forward and I was once more able to walk.
For every blasted song that reminded me of him, there were a hundred more that brought back the good times.
For every Saturday night that I spent in bed staring at lifeless images on the TV, there were countless of Pizza Fridays to look forward to.
For every disastrous photo shoot that my professor and classmates despised, there were enthusiastic comments on Flickr that told me I had done good.
For every early morning that I had to endure, there was his online presence, thousands of miles away, midway into his day, that gave me a glimmer of hope.
For every bloody, ugly spider I (and the roomie) had to kill every single day, there was that very comforting feeling of having moved out of that damn apartment (though we miss you, Crazy Cat!)
For every 15 minute long 30 degree freezing bike ride at 8:43 in the morning, late as heck for class and sleepy as hell, there was that awesome hot September day when I drove my very first car all the way to work.
For every moment of despair 2006 brought unto me, there was always something, as insignificant as a ketchup smiley on a paper tray at Johnny Rockets or as grand as having my mother present at my college graduation, that told me, wake up, shower, get out of bed and face this new day, you are so much more than this. I believe I have captured each and every one of these moments, either through the lens of a camera or through my eyes. These colorful images represent them, and looking at them, I think, You know, it really wasn't so bad.
So I guess, thank you all, your comments and your lurking (yes, that means you!) did bring a smile to my face. Thanks to my friends from back home (y'all know who you are), to the friends in Savannah that forced me to go out and drink and to the ones I have yet to meet. :D
Here's to 2007, bitches!
Posted by starmagn at December 28, 2006 01:10 AM