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September 20, 2008
Airborne Toxic Event
To be honest, my greatest passion in life is not photography. It is not yards and yards of silk dupioni or linen. Neither is filmmaking. It is MUSIC. I can't play it or sing it, but I feel it, feel it more than any soul on this Earth. A guitar makes me feel at home, a violin reminds me of rivers, cellos remind me of looking through dusty window panes at the overcast day outside. Drums beat my heart senseless, feeding my life with emotions I need and plenty I don't need. And the singer... a great singer reminds me who I am.
About two weeks ago, the DJ on the local alternative station 94.7 (the best I've heard my entire life) introduced the next song, a band from LA generating quite a hype in the indie music circuit. Called Airborne Toxic Event, the single is Sometime Around Midnight and I had to repeat to myself their name over and over again for 20 minutes while driving back home. Did not want to forget what I had just heard. Youtubed them and needless to say, I think they're the best act of 2008 (though I've been out of the loop as of late).
This song is everything us lonelyhearts live through (and secretly hold on to) on a daily basis, ...and the piano is this melancholy soundtrack to her smile. It breaks your heart, throws it, picks it up and reminds you need this organ to continue on. It's desperation, it's a smoky bar, it's feeling hopeless, it's feeling hopeful, it's Siegfried as he moved on, as I could not move on past my teenage crush for more than three years, it's Johnny Kallis as he sat across me in History course with his baby blue Wu Tang shirt and kakhi cargo pants and he barely ever said a word to me the skinny girl who sat across him in History course. It's me trying to be a grownup and attempting a friendship after my first official relationship ended on that final day of our first transfer year, when we all had to move out of our dorms, and my train left at 9 am so I really couldn't drag this goodbye any longer. It's me mistreating Rafa, it's him not telling me he didn't love me anymore, it's him and me no more, it's me throwing out his greeting cards during finals, maybe due to stress, mostly due to anger at the fact that *I* did him wrong first. It's two years I spent pretending to be a strong, independent woman who didn't need a hug, who didn't need anybody. It's Tyler... it's Tyler audaciously engaging in conversation with me at Forsyth and it's Tyler lying on my chest as I sleepily play with his hair and to this day I still want that to happen forever but it won't. It's Koonds and how my fingers sorta lingered for a mili-second as he handed me a drink for a customer and I laughed at the silliness of my stupid feelings.
Airborne Toxic Event is nights like this when a friend calls sometime around midnight and I don't know what to say, when I fear for my Siegfried, and I don't know what to do.
But Airborne Toxic Event is also waking up tomorrow, perhaps with a lingering Bourbon breath, hopeful with a steady walk, steady mind knowing we all need a soundtrack to our lives.
I swear they have more upbeat songs, lol. No, for reals, check them out. Great band. Hot singer and a cool girl on violin. Great melodies. What more can you ask.
"so you can smell her perfume, you can see her lying naked in your arms"
Posted by starmagn at September 20, 2008 03:51 AM