Amy Nieto Photography + Design

Thank you, sir. We miss you down here.

JJ Abrams - I LOVE you and I want to MARRY YOU. Thank you for reviving the franchise!

Inspired by these AMAZING beauties here, here and here (and of course, by my obsession with ban.do) I set out to figure out how to make those fabric rosebuds. I'm assuming they just wrapped the fabric around like a tutsy roll (great comparison, amy). So I did just that...and couldn't stop... at 1AM, knowing full well I would regret this the next morning at work.

But look at them! They're so cute! I turned the brown one on the bottom into a hair clip. This one is different from the rest, I simply cut several circles of varying sizes, sewed the middle, pulled the thread and scrunched it up. Then I "burned" the edges with a lighter so they would curl up. Which is not a good thing to do on your bed in an old 1920s house. yeah. No.

Anyways, SUPER CUTEZZZZZZZZ!!!!

This will be the end of me, I tell ya!

I'm doing allright... just.... annoyed and frustrated. I need my 80 degree weather NOW.

How do you spend your Sundays?

ETA: The internet went out this morning, so I'm jut gonna go ahead and post this at 7:02pm. Yeah that's how I rolls.

And I FREAKIN miss that right now so much it hurts.

I need to go Home.

NOW.

Oh, and I miss this handsome geek dork devil here, as well.

If I look disturbingly excited in this pictures, it's BECAUSE I WAS.

Photo taken by Le Tyler.

Mmmmm conquistador mmmmm

That up there is Summer, and if I wasn't so darn exhausted I'd blog about our Sunday Fun in the Sun!

But I am le tired. And am going to bed.

And a whole lot more of Jason Siegel and Paul Rudd. YES PLEASE. (with even more Andy Samberg action, YES):

thankyouverymuch.

I put the fabric I bought last weekend to good use as a bookshelf runner of sorts. Finally the top of the shelf looks more decorative, instead of a place where I plop my cellphones when I'm making my bed in the morning (and yes, I make my bed EVERY morning... it's comforting to know at least one thing in your life is in order before you leave your house).

Detail shot!

Also, I have been listening NON-STOP to the YEAH YEAH YEAH'S new single, Zero. I want to be Karen O and dance around the streets of my dear New York BECAUSE I WOULD BE KAREN O AND SHE IS PURE AWESOMENESS.

I seriously cannot get enough of this song. Can't embed the video, but check it out here!

{ETA: Back in my film major days I wanted to be a music video director. *sigh* I hate regrets.}

My mind roaming around in foreign lands always picks up a stranger or two, in the form of songs. I think this may be one of my many playlists while living in paris...

01) Rufus Wainwright - Leaving for Paris - As countless movies have taught me, the only sensible reason for me to flight off to Paris is to forget about an impossible love. Rufus has been there, I am sure. He will console me during those first days where i find myself juggling the excitement and heartbreak.

02) Joni Mitchel - Case of you - Unpacking in my small, small bedroom. I find your letter. I realize the clothes, the letter, the plane ticket, the mix CDs, all, have become a case of you.

03) Ella Fitzgerald - April in Paris/I Love Paris - I finally step out into the City of Lights.... oh my. (Will the Lights be Blinding, though?)

04) Yeah, yeah, yeahs - Our time - Vibrations of the people, of the city, of jetlag propel my feet to skip happily down the streets.

05) Al Bowlly - Guilty - must sit down and nourish my body. This song plays over a speaker at the stereotypical sidewalk cafe. It amusingly reminds me of playing the Amelie soundtrack over and over again as I worked an 11 hour shift at that clothing store in Savannah, GA.

06) She & Him - Sentimental Heart - I spot a dreamy vintage fabric shop, hidden in the alleys. I muse that Zooey Deschanel would just love to shop here, as I know she's a vintage girl. I realize I am feling a bit loney, so I resolve to make friends.

07) Feist - 1,2,3,4 - I make new friends, all from paris, all from the world, all searcing for that which I am searching for as well. After a few drinks, we re-enact Feist's colorful video. I play Feist, with a crazy blue outfit I bought at the hidden vintage shop.

08) Jeff Buckley - Lover, you should've come over - It's only fitting I must have a night where I break down and miss him. It happens.

09) Goldfrapp - Felt Mountain - Bah, silly crying myself to sleep. Let's hop on a train and visit Amsterdam! Or Berlin! Or my friend Ruth in Alicante! Or El Bardo in Norway (this might involve a plane)!

10) Fiel a la Vega - Boricua en la Luna - As i glance out of my train window, I see fields of sunflowers. They truly do stretch out to the Sun. It is then I realize how far I've come from my own little island... and how it always travels with me {crap, writing that just made me tear up like an idiot}

11) Edith Piaf - Non Je Ne Regrette Rien - Back in Paris. Yikes, spent a little too much traveling... but I sure as heck don't regret it!

12) Billie Holiday - As time goes by - Time to head back to Life. But as my Rick said once... We'll always have Paris. I will, I will, Rick.

*LE SIGH* Seriously... how wonderful would it be. Someday, someday.

I lie. There is nothing more that I want right now than to be Back Home. Pasar un dia en la playa con mami, Pedro, Agmar, Mary, Milton, los nenes, abuela, abuela ge~na, neguita, daisy y su ganga, kendra y su otra ganga, titi lizzy, chela, mirne, tio, tio norman, tio giovanni, tio henry, marian, titi monsa, abuelo cheo, abuela lydia, janice, lola, cynthia, viviana, liliana, ivonnette, sus respectivos machos, ruth, laura, laura ox, el rafa, la josefina, Bruno Diaz, genesis y matthew con minnie, mis nuevas amistades, mies viejas amistades, mis futuros sobrinos, primos, hijos, lo que sea. Pero quiero estar en casa.

My super awesome friend Josie came down from Seattle to hang out in Portland. Portland, weird as always. We went to the roller derby rink in Sellwood. I hadn't skated in 17 years. Sadly, neither of us fell. THAT would've been hilarious.

Would you please hurry up and sweep me off my feet so that I can wear one of these fantastic, magical, heavenly, dainty, oh-so-vintagey, glorious flowery head-pieces on our beach-and-balloons wedding day? Thank you. You know where I live, you handsome stalker, you.

I love ban.do. You should love ban.do, too.

I am in forever love.

These wonderful watercolor illustrations are by Mexico based Gennine. Don't they just inspire you to take up ship right now? Or at least watercolor? I know I do, I hope I learn this art this year (I keep postponing it, like learning French).

Also, my birthday is in a month. And my walls are pretty bare right now. HINT HINT. ^_^

Three mornings ago (oh I love the last dreams of the night), I dreamed my mother and I had taken a one day trip to Paris, for some reason on that day it was closer to us than usual. We arrive on my car (that's how close Paris was) and are looking for a parking spot in order to begin our journey. We pull up to a multi-level where the guard (who has the style of a 1968 Mick Jagger, but with blond hair) informs us because our car is US platform we cannot park here, but then he continues to chat with us in his beautifully accented English. It was Sunny, outside, perhaps late Spring. We park somewhere, and set out to walk the city of Paris. The dream ends, I wake up... with the biggest smile and heart. Oh what a wonderful dream. I mentioned it to mami and she said it ended at that moment because, somehow, we are still there, in that dream. I'd like to believe I am. Ohh, someday.

The following night my real-life desire to live on my own manifested itself in dream form. I was offered a magnificent bedroom in a beautiful Southern plantation-type mansion. The room was easily at least 800 sq ft, with shiny, yet old, dark hardwood floors, two open entryways, overlooking a perfectly set dining room and another room, possibly the kitchen. An old stand-like piano sat against the gray wall, a small sofa in the center of the room, and the over-sized ornate mirror hanging from the North wall reflected the almost overbearing light shining from the floor to ceiling glass windows that spanned the entire room, offering me a breath-taking view of the greenery that belonged to the house. It was the most beautiful place I've ever been. The lady, a very classic estately lady, offered the room for only $900 a month. I can't convey how wonderful the lighting was in this room. Oh my.

Another dream a few weeks ago had my brother and I traveling once again, this time to the United Kingdom. My purpose was to visit an old friend who I hadn't spoken to in years, but I found out she had begun her college years in a centuries old university on a small island off the southern coast of England, called Barbara. We traverse the Atlantic Ocean and arrive at Barbara Island. It was a late afternoon, the Sun shining bright but still low in the sky and I was walking through a giant field of wildflowers, backlit by the intense light and my hand caressing the rebellious flowers. VERY photographic. My friend suggests we visit the mainland, to London! Oh London, one of my biggest dreams! I don't remember us actually going, but I felt this immense happiness and giddyness about FINALLY visiting this great city. As per usual, the dream ends there.

Travel, travel, travel, that's all I've ever wanted to do. Soon, soon, I can feel it. One of the most important trips I need to do this year is spend Christmas back in Puerto Rico, which I haven't done in 5 years. And I miss it. Y'all don't understand how, um, peculiar the holiday season is in my island.

Hint: it's freakin insane.

I wish I could go for a walk right now. But it's raining, at midnight and I'm too much of a chicken to walk alone at this hour. I will feel better tomorrow, I know it.

On a good note, I bought yet another itty bitty sweetie succulent plant. Something tells me I need to avoid New Seasons. $2.50 is just too awesome for a succulent.

I love photographing kids. Through the viewfinder I feel a wonderful surge of energy, imagination, love, curiosity that, sadly, cannot be captured in image. It's truly amazing, never thought I'd enjoy this so much.

But yet... Do I want to have children of my own? As I near my thirties and carry the weigh of generations of Puerto Rican women on my shoulders, I ponder my role as a woman in society. Are my thoughts brought upon tradition and expectation, or by a careful evolution of my own personality.

I do not believe having children is a human instinct. We can all agree that procreation is not always the purpose for which we engage in sexual intercourse. Though every species must ensure its longevity we humans are a bit more complicated than that. So WHY do we have kids? Is it because of tradition and expectation? Marriage - Car - House - Kids. The Next Logical Step. The Traditional American Cycle. Is it because it never occurred you NOT to have them?

Some may argue offspring is the final piece that will complete you. I have always argued an individual should complete his/her own self before giving their all to another person. You complete me sounds very romantic on film, but to my ears it sounds partly selfish, to need another person to feel whole, like a clutch. Back in my early twenties I would feel a strong desire to have a child. Now I realize my desire came from wanting to have somebody who would love me unconditionally. I quickly recognized this as a misguided reason to have a child. What WOULD be a correct reason to have a child, then, if any?

To provide the world an intelligent, responsible, leader of society? A noble reason, I must admit. But can't you do that yourself, instead of relying on the next generation to improve the state of the world? All parents have expectations for their children, but that's all it is, expectations. Force something unto them and it might backfire.

If you DO decide to raise a child, why not adopt one? Granted, the adoption process in the US is ridiculous. So instead of wanting to have that kid at age 24, why not wait ten more years and have enough money saved and credentials to finally adopt a child? Again, is it a misguided notion that your bloodline will end FOREVER?? I am a firm believer that bloodlines are created through the people we interact and form strong bonds with. For example, I have basically three grandmothers, one of them not being my real grandma at all (granpa's second wife), but I love this woman SO MUCH because she chose to treat us, and my mom, as if we were her own. The love this woman has shown us is... I cannot describe it into words (tears might explain more, really). Yet, my paternal grandmother denied us this love (my maternal grandma is AWESOME, she likes to drink beer and her chicken is DELISH). Not to mention my father lovingly abandoned us on my first day of kindergarten. See what I'm trying to explain? Blood, last names, family crests matter shit. Love, that's what really counts, it's what lasts.

Please don't tell me I'd be missing out on the FANTASTIC AND OUT OF THIS WORLD experience of child birth and motherhood, because I will shut that irrational argument down in 0.3 seconds. I have the skills to do so.

I don't want to continue listing hypothetical questions. Most of the possible futures I dream up for myself do not include a child. I've heard the age old When you meet the right man, then you will want to have kids. Hmm. I dunno. That kinda goes back to the whole You Complete Me thing. I can see myself married but to need a child to cement that love is a completely different issue and I am not sure it is the right one, either. But then again, oftentimes I still feel as if I'm 15 and the prospect of family is still SO FAR AWAY.

You may be noticing a streak of posts heavy on questions and philosophy and hardcore stuff like that lately on this blog. As a young, educated Puerto Rican woman it is tough to realize, that when you go back home, you have become a bit of an alien by not following traditional, pre-set, unquestionable expectations (OMG I'm 27 unmarried, single, childless, I MUST BE THE L3SBIANZ - rolls eyes). I also haven't had many shoots in the past month so I have an unnerving amount of free time on my hands.

Please do not interpret my views as a contempt and hatred towards individuals who have chosen to raise families. Nowhere near. In fact, I admire you all who are doing an excellent job at it. After all, my mother raised us, facing every possible obstacle, save for war and geographical dislocation, and I can only admire her for that. Last I heard, parenting is HARD. Like.. HARD. That being said, you mothers and fathers, I ask you... WHY did you decide to have children?

If the pregnancy was unplanned, WHY did you decide to keep the child?

If you are planning on having kids, WHY?

If you have decided NOT to have kids, then also, WHY?

And also, should we stop measuring our roles in society based on gender, and instead, view our collective achievements as HUMAN BEINGS (which is why I get SICK of hearing "oh the first black president, the first woman to... this and this and this". Yeah it's great to recognize achievements from "minorities" but let's not dwell TOO much on that, thanks)?

I do appreciate any and all answers, observations, ramblings, insults, cupcakes, the such. Bring it.

So to be fair, and again to avoid turning this into an emo post, I've only been in "dating age" for the past 105 months, out of which 20 have seen me engaged in two official relationships, respectively. Which by the way, were ended by the respective boyfriends. Outside these two official fantastically failed relationships, I "dated" this one guy from Hilton Head for about three weeks, and had a fling with the love of my life for a month prior to moving to Vegas in '07. And... that's it. Out of all my high school friends, I'm pretty much still the only single one, as my best friend got engaged (yay!) just a few months ago. We must not forget I moved to Portland, OR, which apparently is the last place to go to for dating. It seems EVERYBODY in this town is hitched, engaged or lovingly in love (and honestly that's a good thing - I love seeing love).

Amy Nieto, The Token Single Girl. I like the sound of that.

But worry not, despite all these numbers and figures and statistics, I am not in misery. At this moment in life, quite the opposite. The past years saw a few tearful nights, but that loneliness has turned into an actual introspective, anthropological, sociological study of WHY am I single. (I make a strenuous effort to avoid asking WHAT went wrong in the previous relationships for I am afraid of what I might discover about myself.)

So why. Do I value my free time that much that my body language blocks, quite possibly subconsciously, any interest from potential males? After all, I DO work part-time AND am trying to build a business PLUS I have to cook, clean, fold, shop by myself. Bah, I don't have time for men, I find myself proclaiming over and over again when asked why "such a lovely girl like myself" is not married. Do I really not have time for men? Really, Amy?

Is it because my mother was/is so fiercely independent from men, after our father abandoned us, that that was ALL I knew? Is it because I don't know any better? I don't know what it's like to NEED men? I needed men for a while, when I could just not open spaghetti sauce jars on my own. Now I can, thus losing all need for men (still undecided about having children, so...). Is that what it is?

Speaking about my father abandoning us, is it because that abrupt absence cratered such a strong impact in my relationship with men that it has cultivated a fear of abandonment? Fear of engagement? Fear of...failure? After all, my only two official boyfriends dumped ME. Despite what friends may say to the contrary, I often believe the bulk of the fault laid on me. So... do I fear failure so much that I opt to remain distant and simply friendly to men?

As I previously mentioned, my BFF got engaged last year. I have photographed two of my friends' weddings. I WORK in the wedding industry, for Chrissake. Do I see this type of commitment as a sign of weakness? That's not true, I've never been the archetypal 90s feminist who believes marriage is slavery. No. That's not it.. it's something else. Fear of SETTLING DOWN. That's it. From the ages of 0-18 I lived in 9 houses, 7 dorms/houses between the ages of 18-26; five cities; two colleges; two different majors. Seeing a pattern here? Am I afraid of "settling down"? Am I afraid of engaging in a commitment that might end up being long-term? Aside from the love of my family, I don't have a big grasp on things that are long-term (oh except for TV shows - watched X-files from beginning to END - yes, even the bad seasons).

Needless to say, I have never been the kind of girl who is DESPERATE to find a boyfriend, because somehow she is not complete without one. Never been, nor will I ever be, no matter how desperate things may seem. THAT is a sign of weakness.

Don't get me wrong, I am REALLY in no rush to don a white dress and walk down the aisle {honestly, I am TOTALLY considering choosing yellow as my color}. And don't get me wrong, I am super happy for all my friends who are so in love, and for all the clients I photograph whose love radiates so strongly. Don't get me wrong, I heart my occasional romantic comedy (preferably starring Hugh Grant, yes).

I just sometimes really ponder why the heck am I always the friggin Single Girl?!?! And when I DO find my one and only, can he look something like this? Or this? Pretty please with Dharma cherries on top??

See, any mention of The Hotness of the LOST Male Characters kills any emo-ness this post might have turned into.

I guess I'm just different the way I am. *shrugs*

Here are the rules:

1. Link to your original tagger(s) and list these rules in your post.
2. Share seven facts about yourself in the post.
3. Tag seven people at the end of your post by leaving their names and the links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they've been tagged.
************

01) I smile when the morning is a Sunny one. Often I will say "Good morning, morning".
02) I am in love with Jimmy Stewart.
03) Back in 1993, I tried to write an episode for Star Trek: The Next Generation with original characters. That didn't quite work out. lol
04) For a relatively quiet person, I laugh REALLY LOUD.
05) I may find myself sleeping in a ultra-extra-large-King bed but I will only take a teensy weensy corner of it.
06) "I dig music"
07) I LOVES THE INTERNETS.

08) Also, as an extra, I just found out you can pause a video on Youtube by pressing the space bar. Oh my. Look at me!

lolz

Okay so I tag....Sarah, as always, because I know she can find 7 delectable tidbits about her gorgeous self. Hilary - though I dare you to list your 7's in PHOTO form. Debbie. Colleen. Stitchchick... That's it, I'm tired, I need to go to bed y'alls.

1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before? I moved AND visited Portland, OR. In that order.

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Um... I don't even remember if I made any resolutions. I guess that answers your question. :P I did gain weight, though.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Hmmm not quite, actually. Clients did, though.

4. Did anyone close to you die? noooooo

5. What countries did you visit? CANADA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? An apartment of my own! (and again, yes, a boyfriend, but that never happens, so I won't include it)

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Tuesday, August 5th!!!!!!!!! yay PDX!! NYC with Agmar early May!! Laura's wedding June 7th!! EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? For the first time in my life, moved to a city where no safety nets existed. I was COMPLETELY on my own. And it is AWESOME.

9. What was your biggest failure? Hmm... I didn't finish Laura's wedding album on time lol Still working on it!!

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? SURPRISINGLY enough I didn't get the stomach flu!!

11. What was the best thing you bought? MY SUPER FANTABULOUS VINTAGE COAT OF ... AWESOMENESS AND FANTABULOUSITY!! That and my 50mm f/1.8 lens.

{photo by e.soule}

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? My friends who have traveled far and worked hard for their dreams.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Stupid little loud teenagers on the bus. UGH. And a certain ex of a family member...

14. Where did most of your money go? Half-cross country move. Vintage little things.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? FRIGGIN PORTLAND! 50mm lens! My goodbye party night of debauchery and drunkenness in Vegas! CANADA!!! THE SOVEREIGNS!

16. What song will always remind you of 2008? Listening to Arcade Fire's Neon Bible now brings me back to Vegas, driving West on Blue Diamond, just before heading north on Rainbow, on my way to work. Odd little flashbacks.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c) richer or poorer? Ridiculously happier. Like. For reals. I am fatter, yay!!!! A bit richer. Still not enough, though lol.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? I wish I had explored a bit more of Portland while the weather was favorable, but there were important matters I needed to take care of.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Worry about my talent.

20. How did you spend Christmas? Worked in the morning, then I RESTED AND READ AND SLEPT all day long with the company of Moose and Chuck from the Moose and Chuck Variety Hour. It was a great Xmas, despite my confinement.

21. Did you fall in love in 2008? With my new life! With John Cusack circa 1988.

{Interesting article on why John Cusack is still hot. Not that we need to reason his hotness...}

22. What was your favorite TV program? Still, Lost. I believe I got into Heroes this year, but some of the characters have begun to annoy me (I'm looking at you Claire Bennet. DEATHLY looking at you).

mmmm yes, please.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? Dude, hating is HARD.

24. What was the best book you read? Read a lot of nerdy Star Wars novels. Inferno was the best of them.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? AIRBORNE TOXIC EVENT. Hands down. Also, She & Him. Zooey Deschanel is just SO DARLING! This was the year that I truly fell in love with 80's alterna-pop bands, such as Depeche Mode, Tears for Fears, New Order, despite having known of their existence since I was a wee girl. Enjoy the Silence is a masterpiece. Ahhhh.

26. What did you want and get? I got Portland. I got my awesome coat. I got clients!!!!!! Awesome clients!!

27. What did you want and not get? Well, I couldn't get my mommy to visit me, but there's always next Summer (yay berry picking!)

28. What was your favorite film of this year? Once. The curious power of music.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? Oh my goodness. lol That was quite the adventure. I thank you David for taking us to such, ah, well, classic establishment. I turned 26.

That guy on the left, I miss him a LOT.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Honestly, I can't think of anything more satisfying than finally living my dream life (well.. my dream life includes a certain city called Paris...). So, I cannot complain and I know form now on, my path is laid and everything will happen in its own time.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007? FANTABULOUS! lol Seriously, I upped the ante this year. But 2009 will be the Year of CRAZY PANTS!!!!

32. What kept you sane? Who says I kept sane? :P

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Still my Justin. Honey, please get rid of that restraining order. I miss you.

34. What political issue stirred you the most? Well, I was all about my homeboy Ron Paul back during the primaries in Vegas. Then I moved to Portland and rooting for anything other than Obama seemed a little suicidal (no offense).

35. Who did you miss? I miss Agmar. I miss my brother. I miss the huge TV in his living room. I miss ALLL my Siena peeps. I miss Janicia. I miss my mom. I miss Sawyer. And jack. And Kate. And-- OH MY GOD, WILL YOU MAKE LOST HURRY UP!??!?! THIS IS WITHDRAWAL, MAN!!

36. Who was the best new person you met? Oh my goodness. I think this was the year I met some of the most amazing people in the world. Though I met them later in '07, it wasn't until '08 that I befriended my Siena peeps. Their friendship made Vegas a tolerable place. During those last months I met my dear Hilary Helton, whose friendship and guidance I value dearly and am looking forward to our future photo ventures :). Here in Portland I have met my sweet sweet Alyson (and her man DLB), Kjell and Kim, Linnea, Lesley, my roommates, The Ladies of Fernhill, the Wests. A great number of photo clients who welcomed me into their homes, their lives. MIss Josefina from PR, now resident of Washington, USA! Also, this year marked the EARTH SHATTERING ENCOUNTER OF EARTH SHATTERING PROPORTIONS: The meeting of siblings Brad and Sarah Sovereign in BC. That night was MONUMENTAL. And we are pretty darn sure you all felt the rocking of our awesomeness.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008. For reals, why the heck did you doubt your talent for so many years? Ridiculous.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. Feist's Mushaboom:
Helping the kids out of their coats
But wait the babies haven't been born oh
Unpacking the bags and setting up
And planting lilacs and buttercups oh

So badly do I want to share these emotions. But pessimism made a late-year visit and DRAINED me. The rains have returned, slowly melting the last traces of a very unusual Winter. I am so glad. Have not had the energy to get my camera out and take advantage of this once in a lifetime occurrence (not to mention I've been working non stop for the past week and will continue to do so throughout the next week). I'm surprised I'm even blogging.

My dear friend Alyson asked me to watch over her two kitties while she is out of the country with her man. I've had this downtown apartment all to myself.. well, me and the kitties (which are very well behaved, mind you). It's been great, do not even miss my house. I am so ready to live on my own.

Above is a picture I love dearly. Nothing grand, it's just a Holga print of an abandoned lighthouse in Savannah I took back in 2004. One of my goals for 2009 is to re-introduce film back into my commercial work (heck, fine art, too). I miss it so, it was the canvas to some of my best work. Perhaps tomorrow I shall visit the Central Library to flip through books of the old photo masters. My Robert Capa... love him to death.

Also, I've been enamoured with downtown living, something I always dreamt of.

Nah, I love my Mt Tabor and Hawthorne too much :)

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I get frustrated. Anything that, in a hurry, I leave in a convenient place will only make matters worse, as everything is still so messy. I am contemplating renting a very small office next year where I can edit my photo work AWAY from my BEDROOM. It just drives me insane. I can't afford to buy brand new shelving or things like that, so I'm down to thrift shops and free stuff on craigslist.

Someone help me organize this. Give me ideas, please. It's really really really really frustrating.

Thank you, you are awesome!!

Awesome.

The love I feel as I realize I'm in the right spot in life.

So in the spirit of wanting, here is my wish list. First part details photo equipment I actually DO need for my business. The remaining items are things I may or may not need. Depending on the mood. Right now, I NEED THEM ALL.

I also realized that if I had never quit my job in Vegas and never had moved to Portland, I could've been able to afford a few of these items. Like the boots. Or the monitor calibrator. Yeah, but nooooooooo, I decided to be Bohemian and move to Portland where I currently have no job. AWESOME.

So yeah here is my wish list.

Things I, surprisingly, actually DO need.
Do I actually need to explain why I need a second camera body? No.
$1400.

I want this baby SO bad. Currently, I shoot most of my portraits with a cheaper F1.8 and while the quality is quite surprising for the price (under $100) the AF is a bit slow. And when you're photographing over-active kids, AF is your friend. So... I want this one. NOW. $350

If I have a second camera body, might as well get the second flash unit. $407. Funny-looking flash diffuser. $40

A bigger camera bag suitable for traveling, especially through the Atlanta airport, where some really burly men work. $142

More lenses. A girl can't have too many of these. $1033

A few more of these. At the moment, I need to bring my laptop with me if I have back to back photoshoots. My two 4GBs and two 1Gbs are just not doing it. At all. $50ish

I rarely ever use tripods. But you just never know when you might need one. Like, having a black friend. $100ish (the tripod, not the black friend).

Well, while I'm listing all these fun goodies I might as well just mention that I need a new computer with RIDICULOUS AMOUNTS OF GIGAS. Like. RIDICULOUS. 350 GB will do just fine. $1500

Once I have my nifty iMac thingamajing, a monitor calibrator would reduce my stress by 90%. $70.

Pretty please? okthxbai. $1800 and your newborn.

A cell phone with email capabilities (and Google Maps, of course) and a Portland 503 number, because I can only laugh so long at clients who FREAK out upon finding out my cell number is from Puerto Rico before it gets tiring. $I have no idea.

Oh, and more photo clients.

Things that would pretty cool to have


Like, a dresser. My undies are currently stashed in a Fred Meyer's plastic shopping bag. The probably smell of asparagus and Milano cookies right now. Luckily, PLENTY of very affordable vintage/thrift shops here in Portland.$no more than 70

A bed. I currently sleep on my housemate's futon mattress and it hurts a bit when I sleep on my side. I don't care what size it is. I'll take a Twin. I DONT CARE.

Socks. Nothing special. I just kinda need more than three pairs.

I NEED THIS. My Morning Jacket latest album. Airborne Toxic Event debut album. Once. Simply Once.

You . ON MY FEET RIGHT NOW. $188.

Rainy Season in the Pacific Northwest has begun and though I already scored a pretty pink umbrella at a vintage shop for only $9, what I REALLY want is a Orla Kiely umbrella (first two on the right, third is Kate Spade). I mean...wouldn't that umbrella brighten up any gloomy Portland Winter day? Yes, it would. And those raincoats are absolutely darling, as well. $60 - up.

I love paper and I love cutting it even more. I'd like to have a GOOD, solid rotary paper cutter. Oh yes. Close to a $100.

I don't care if election season is almost over, this is what America needs. $4.49 Nerdcredits.

HA! Things I will take a long time to acquire/never acquire. Keep dreaming, silly girl.

Mamiya RZ67 Medium Format Camera. My favorite camera of all time. I miss it so so so so much. Maybe one day, my love, we shall be reunited. $2000+ (body ONLY) (let's not even talk about the lenses)

Luke Skywalker for president. You may question why Picard/Riker '08 isn't on this list seeing as neither one actually exist in the realm of this reality...

A boyfriend. I'm actually quite surprised it's taken me a lengthy 26 years to finally start feeling the weight of being a depressingly single woman. A 26 year old single woman who has been single 24.7 out of 26.5 years of her life. Yeah. You go ahead and tell me it's great being single when everybody you meet is happily paired off. Go ahead. Yeah. Beautiful photo by {manda}

Posted by starmagn at 10:49 PM | Comments (2)

April 18, 2008

Why does Hollywood hate on NY?

My brother and I will be in New York City from May 6-9 to visit my Cousin the Actress who is graduating from New School AND SHE IS AWESOME. And so is New York! IM SO EXCITED! If it weren't for the fact that I am exhausted as heck and this bed is slightly emo-sensitive, I'd be jumping up and down, but I'll save myself the $500 I would have to re-spend on a new mattress and just type REALLY big on my blog because THAT'S WHAT EXCITED PEOPLE DO!! YAY!! I miss you New York. Who knows, maybe I'll ditch Vegas and stay in New York, as I've been wanting to do so for the past 13 years of my life... but that's a topic for another post.

Oh that? That's the giant monster that ravaged New York City in the totally awesome film, Cloverfield in which apparently the monster cannot possibly be killed and not only will it ravage The Big Apple, but the World as well. Oh nothing, I just thought I'd share that with y'all. kthxbai.

Posted by starmagn at 03:40 AM | Comments (3)

March 19, 2008

Bloody quarter life crisis and work room update.

Very small update on the abyss that is my craft/studio room. The desk does look a little tidier and with more purpose than before.

Today I went to a wedding at the Mandalay Bay Hotel. My old SCAD friend Noreen flew into town for her friend Diana's wedding to Nathan (we all were film kids). Diana looked so cute and tiny it was too adorable. It was nice seeing old friends. Noreen and I shared a Rogue Chocolate Stout at the Burger Bar while we chatted about the energy of New York City, the arts and men who take heartbreak a little too seriously. Old dorm friend Chrysta was also there, fantastic blonde hair and all. So cute. Noreen leaves tomorrow, sadly we couldn't hang out for too long.

When I first met Noreen in the Fall of 2002 at Weston House, I thought she was a gypsy. She had big dark glasses, a very colorful shirt, and a certain off-world vibe about her. I thought she was cool. She is. I'll miss ya Noreeners!

I often think of her and all the friends I have in New York City. My cousin Agmar the Actress, who is my most favoritest person in the whole planet, lives there, in trendy Williamsburg. I imagine us meeting over coffee (or frapuccino, or some sort of soft drink, I avoid coffee unless I REALLY need it) at a cafe close to New School on her break from classes and my break from work. We'd catch up on the day, she'd tell me how her theater thesis is going and hopefully there is some ghetto family gossip that we can discuss to the fullest extent. We pay the bill and head on back to our respective destinations. Hopefully for me that would lead me to the Fashion District and maybe, maybe, I would have to take a turn on Sixth and 28th by the Flower District, across from FIT, smelling all the distinct scents of countries far away, countries that traveled in the form of lilies, and roses and mums, all exotic all so beautiful (pay no mind that the Fashion District is quite a long walk away from the Union Square area of New School, but sshhh).

I often think of all these imaginary walks and trips to galleries and museums and limited visits to bars (money's scarce and NY bars are freakin expensive) and I realize my heart is beating, beating, beating too strongly, probably because it thinks we're actually right there in
the Big Apple, racing through the hellish morning commute, battling cold winds in the winter and stressing over money. But it beats like a drum because it imagines it would be so happy surrounded by this vibrant life and art. Oh the art. In a few moments I have to calm it down. Sing a little lullaby (Frank's New York, New York) and pay attention to the highway that circles the giant suburb that is Las Vegas. 'Cause that's what Vegas is, one giant homogeneous suburb split by a single vein of neon and fleeting cultures.

But more fleeting is the confidence that lies in me, it wavers and wavers, never settles. I overcome the insecurities at times, but not always. My treasured insecurities drag the time on my days off to the point I doubt my productivity (or lack thereof). April 9 will mark the 10th month of my relocation to Vegas and I feel like I've accomplished nothing. I've only now just started promoting my photography...but I'm still dragging. I've considered engaging in a life coaching session with this lady, to help me rid of this negativity and find my purpose, but sadly I can't afford that right now because I'm saving to move out to an apartment of my own (I live with my brother in his huge house).

I tire of my complaints, I really do. And when I do, I take harsh decisions, like, say, move across country to Vegas, a place that I sorta picked out because I wanted the restless, wanderlust voices in my head to just shut up. So I said, Fine, I'll move out even though I friggin' love Savannah, but I'll move out, just shut up. And that's how I ended up here. Now I don't want to be here.

Dear blog readers, I apologize profoundly for this post. For my endless whining. I needed to vent. Somehow maybe I should take up on Miss Karen's offer for the life coaching. Maybe I should just take the money I'll save in the next 2-3 months and pack up to NYC.

Mostly, though, I should STFU and ride this wave out for a little while.

*le sigh*

Yes I'm turning 26 in just 2-3 weeks. It's ripping me apart.

Posted by starmagn at 03:51 AM | Comments (4)

March 15, 2008

Organizing....

Today I am braving a most impossible task: organizing my craft/studio/work room. While I am an organized, clean person, I ultimately suck a physically organizing things. At least, effectively. I dream of having a clean, clutter-free, smart work room where I can find my bone-folder in less than 3 seconds and I know exactly where the cannon picture at Fort Jackson, Savannah is among all the rest of my printed photographs.

*LE SIGH*

I shall let you all darling readers if I even make it out alive from this. If anybody has any suggestions as to how I should organize everything, drop me a line. Or a whisky. Whatever works the best.

Am listening to an old school tango station on Pandora. Oh how beautiful and heart-felt is this music. Reminds me of my Edith Piaf. Oh Edith. Oh France. Someday, someday...

Posted by starmagn at 06:35 PM | Comments (2)

January 31, 2008

1-31-07 NEVER FORGET

Posted by starmagn at 01:23 PM | Comments (0)

January 26, 2008

Hi my name is Amy and I need to chill.

Miss Alyson tagged me, so I must oblige to her wishes:

Eight Random Facts About Meself:
01) My only brother (six years my senior) and I look NOTHING, NOTHING alike. NOTHING. Even though we're both from the same mother and father (or are we.............?!?)

02) My nose gets all sniffly whenever I eat. It used to be only spicy foods, but nowadays even with water I get snuffly. wth.

03) I am obsessed, OBSESSED, with Google Maps. I trace the entire country over and over, imagining road trips, cities I would live in, checking the traffic in LA... I've been known to spend hours on that darn website.

04) I cannot write with a pen that does not have its cap on the top. The cap MUST be on top in order for me to write. Weirdest thing ever.

05) I cannot have either my keys, cellphone, jewelry, wallet, handbags lying on the bed. Something about having those items on top of my bed annoys the inner foundation of my brain. They MUST be in their respective places.

06) The GMAIL tab must ALWAYS be the first tab on the left on my firefox browser. Active and open at ALL times. Next to it, Pandora then Bloglines then the rest.

07) At my restaurant, I must organize all tea packets (five of them) and sugar packets (four of them) by color and they must always be in the same spot. Regular sugar - brown sugar - Equal - Sweet -n- low. For tea: Chamomile - Green tea - Decaf Tea - Ceylon - Oriental Tea - Balck Tea. When these items are out of order, it drives me insane. INSANE.

08) I DESPISE, HATE, LOATHE small hairy dogs. Like the Yorkie, Maltese. Something about them GROSSES THE LIVING HECK OUT OF ME. HATE THEM WITH A PASSION. Now, big dogs like the labs are cool with me. And huskies. Huskies are welcome in my house ANY day. ANY day. Just don't bring any Yorkie bitches.

...
....
.....

Holy crap, I'm a WEIRD person. I taaaag Sarah Sovereign, Marjorie and Cadyn Mosch. I do not feel like typing out your links. I'm lazy :P

Posted by starmagn at 08:59 PM | Comments (3)

January 25, 2008

My little corner of the world

So this is a corner in my room I have no idea what to do with. I'd like to put a tall mirror so I can actually stop myself before leaving the house wearing that. Also some artwork, or random things. But I just don't know what. And I don't have time to look thru Design Sponge or Decor8 for inspiration.

That's a lie. I DO have the time. Today has been the most chill day ever. I am drinking Smirnoff right now and in like two hours am meeting up with some new friends. ahhh days off, how I love thee.

Anyways, anyone got some ideas on what to do with this corner, or both walls? THANKS! AWESOME!

Also, this is me looking marvelously fantastic:

Posted by starmagn at 09:07 PM | Comments (1)

December 27, 2007

Holiday cupcakes

For my third attempt at baking cupcakes, I actually used an electric mixer. Gasp! Yes, the thing was lying around the kitchen for months and I had no idea! So I used it. And this time, the result was MUCH BETTER. Very little mess. Sadly. I like flour messes.

They were quite the hit at my friend's Christmas dinner. Oh and finally own a cake stand! How quaint!

I smell dainty little postcards on the way!!!

Oh and can I just say how FANTASTIC Heidi Klum looks in the new Project Runway?? Like, good lord woman!

Posted by starmagn at 12:54 AM | Comments (13)

December 25, 2007

An end of the year analysis... in meme form.

1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?

Moved out of Savannah. I dressed up for Halloween. Moved across country.

2. Did you keep your New Years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Not much of a Resolution person. Planning gives you dandruff. But I attempted to learn French. Didn't quite work out. But I did move out of Savannah.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Nidia and Viviana and Minnie, oh babies galore!... oh wait, Viviana gave birth last year. Oh well, still!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Thankfully no.

5. What countries did you visit?

Does San Diego and Raleigh count as countries? No? Well then no, I stayed in the good ol' USA.

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
A more defined view of where my next two years should go. An apartment of my own (oh it would be so lovely decorated). A boyfriend. Knee-high boots.

7. What date from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory?

Saturday, June 9th - moved to Vegas.
Thursday, May 10th - day I met him.
Tuesday, August 6th - day my Savannah crafty article came out! (Click for a condensed version of article)
Saturday, March 17th - Cynthia and JOhnny's wedding!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Moved away from Savannah, as much as I loved it. Got over the heartache of moving away from Savannah. Photographed two lovely weddings.

9. What was your biggest failure?
What I thought to be a failure (moving to Vegas) as turned out to be quite a blessing.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Just my annual lovely stomach flu. OH I CANT WAIT!!!

11. What was the best thing you bought?

BRAND NEW SONATA!!!! Oh and an awesome new lens that hopefully will arrive next week. A wonderful cosmopolitan winter coat for only $9.99 at a thrift store. My knee-high boots. And billions of cupcakes, mmmm.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
I'm gonna be a little selfish and say me. Life right after I moved to Vegas became horrible. But I was wrong and I overcame the emoness. Also, JANICE! Moving away from the comfort zone that is living with her parents. Good luck to you my darling!

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
Most of the staff at America Restaurant. Ugh.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Cupcakes. By the thousands. mmmm oh and knee-high boots. And gas. And craft supplies.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
I was REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY pumped about driving all the way from Georgia to Vegas. How amazing would it be to see America. But... my rusty ol' '95 Civic died two weeks before moving. So I had to fly in. Not as exciting, I must say. I got excited about him, as well. Oh well.

16. What song/album will always remind you of 2007?
1,2,3,4 - by my darling Feist.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
1. Happier or sadder? WAY happier. LAst year was Senior year at college. Not my best moments.
2. Thinner or fatter? Um, I think I'm the same. I lost weight when I moved here. But then regained the pounds with a healthy diet of lots of walnuts and fruits mmmm
3. Richer or poorer? Ha. Actually I'm a bit richer. But that's cuz I don't have to pay rent. SUCKAZZZ.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Travel, always. Read, always. Learn French.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Crying and shit. Pointless.

20. How will you be spending/did you spend Christmas?
At Karin's!!!! And maybe hang out with other people. Wreak havoc around Vegas, hopefully.

21. Who did you spend the most time on the phone with?
Most definitely my mother, she calls every two minutes.

22. Did you fall in love in 2007?
I fell into something. What that was, I will never know.

23. How many one night stands in this last year?
Does a five night stand qualify?

24. What was your favourite TV programme?
Lost, Heroes, Planet Earth (ohhh the undersea creatures episode, HOW BEAUTIFUL!)

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Nahhhh, hatin' takes too much of my time.

26. What was the best book(s) you read?

-Slightly out of focus - Robert Capa memoirs. I love this man. Also, the book I was reading right when I met him.
-On the Road - Kerouac. Had to read it before my big roadtrip adventure that never happened.
-Star Wars: Legacy of the Force: Inferno - Aaron Allston. Chapter 11 > everything.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Feist! Feist! Feist! I heard Feist for the very first time on Sunday, April 7th, 2007 around 1pm on our (Greg, Ness and Brandon) way to Gelattohs after a night of celebrating my 25th birthday. I couldn't have asked for a better gift. This is probably one of my favorite memories of 2007. Feist made that exhausting Summer a little bit calmer, a little bit happier as I would drive back home at midnight from a yet another horrible day at work. I'd sing 1,2,3,4 at the top of my lungs, and I still do, even though now things are much much much better. But when that song comes on, I feel like a little tear of intense happiness wants to escape my eye and join the air and the clouds and all that is fantastic in this world. Yeah, that's what Feist has meant to me this year.

28. What did you want and get?
Brand new car!!!! Knee-high boots! (It's funny, but last year I filled out this very same survey, and I kept mentioning over and over how ecstatic I was about having bought my cute Seychelle shoes for my graduation. hehe). Awesome Winter coat! A kitchen island! Awesomeness!

29. What did you want and not get?
Well my clone is still, regrettably, on back order for almost a year now.

30. What were your favourite films of this year?

- The Sound of Music - I still have to write my review about this lovely movie. Another thing that kept me sane during my move here.
- Cabaret - I know, I know. Old movies. But I saw them for the first time this year.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Quarter-century, and I believe I already explained my awesome birthday.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Let's see. There's always that whole clone fiasco. A lil bit more money is always good. If Agmar would have come here for Xmas. If Janice had come here in September. If he had returned my feelings. If I would have driven to Vegas. If I hadn't left my AWESOME 50s dining table behind in Savannah. If I could make better cupcakes!

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?

OMG this has been my year in fashion. Y'all should see how I dress. As Agmar would describe it, I resemble a Skittles. mmm skittles. But yeah, I've played around with mixing clothes and thrift shopping. Sooooo much fun!

34. What kept you sane?
My mother (though at times she does the opposite. Like when she calls me to tell me some insignificant matter... when it's freakin 5AM here in Vegas. Apparenly she fails to comprehend the concept of a 4 hour difference in time zone). Feist. Agmar. Pedro. My crafts. My camera. My internets. My Sarah. My little Jacie. WHisky.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Still Justin Timberlake. MM MMM MM MMM

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
The upcoming elections. I registered as a Republican just for Dr. Ron Paul.

37. Who did you miss?
EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING SAVANNAH.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Him. Oh and Gregory Harold! I met you on New Year's Eve, but that still counts. I met my Gryphonites late December, but became very good friends with them in 2007, so I guess that might count as well.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.

What seems like heartache now is a blessing later. Electric mixers are NECESSARY for baking.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year?

Sittin' in the mornin' sun
I'll be sittin' when the evenin' come
Watching the ships roll in
And then I watch 'em roll away again, yeah

I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay
Watching the tide roll away
Ooo, I'm just sittin' on the dock of the bay
Wastin' time

I left my home in Georgia
Headed for the 'Frisco bay
'Cause I've had nothing to live for
And look like nothin's gonna come my way

So I'm just gonna sit on the dock of the bay
Watching the tide roll away
Ooo, I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay
Wastin' time

Look like nothing's gonna change
Everything still remains the same
I can't do what ten people tell me to do
So I guess I'll remain the same, yes

Sittin' here resting my bones
And this loneliness won't leave me alone
It's two thousand miles I roamed
Just to make this dock my home

Now, I'm just gonna sit at the dock of the bay
Watching the tide roll away
Oooo-wee, sittin' on the dock of the bay
Wastin' time

I TAG EVERYBODY!!!!

Posted by starmagn at 04:56 AM | Comments (0)

December 24, 2007

David Bowie and Bing Crosby wish you a Merry Christmas... and get off my lawn!!

So campy. And what's up with Bowie strolling around the house as if it were his own.

Love it. Merry Christmas y'all!!!

Posted by starmagn at 07:53 PM | Comments (0)

November 28, 2007

Oopsie

Oops! I had disabled comments by accident. You can comment away now! Thanks to Alyson (not ALLyson) for bringing this major technical failure to my attention!

Heck, while I'm here I'll bla bla for a little bit. So, I am very aware millions upon millions of creative people are part of this fantastic club: The I have no friggin' time to put pants on properly, let alone carry on with my 94873973 projects club. I have SIX major projects that are my absolute top priority at the moment, but with a 30ish hour a week job (I know that's better than a 50-hour-week job, but still), a very slow pace (I've come to the conclusion that I am just slow at everything.... except devouring cupcakes, but who's keeping track of time in critical moments such as those?), a need to sleep 7-8 hours, food for two to cook (and clean the kitchen myself), go through a 50-60 minute daily commute (i HATE that, for my next job {which I hope will be away from Vegas} I will bike, walk, carpool, bus, whatever to work, sadly I can't do any of that here), and the required Heroes and CSI (oh I am dreading February when Lost comes back).... well it's really hard to finish anything at all.

These are my projects, in semi-order of priority:
01) Edit Cecilia and Lincoln's 500-ish wedding pictures (shot this past weekend)
02) The Yearbook... yeap, as in MY high school yearbook. It's been 7 years since graduation. I think it's time this wretched thing gets finalized.
03) My Winter coat...which I am sewing. The cold has reached Vegas, finally. (Must also buy proper shoes...flip flops aren't so awesome during 30 degree winters).
04) Create and add products to Star Magnolia's Etsy shop. Not open for business yet. I'd like to have a mini sale by Xmas time. We'll see how that works, I remember saying the same thing back in July.
05) Learn about textile design. You might say this is trivial, but I digress. This just might get me far far away from Vegas, which is actually my Number 1 priority (yeap, I hate this town).
06) Update my website/portfolio. Important for the reason stated above.

So as you can see, I'm a busy busy busy busy bee. I have not socialized at all in Vegas because of all these projects. If they weren't important, I'd be out there. Possibly releasing charming pheromones to catch me a tall, handsome guy who cherishes Star Wars and Airplane alike. Oh well, that will be postponed till next year (it's not like I have time for a relationship, anyways!).

I am trying to devise a scheduling system of sorts. This may turn out to be a flop, but I need to give it a try, otherwise frustration over not accomplishing anything will set in... and, well, I'm sure we all know how that feels.

So.... yeah. Anybody know how to cope with this?

Posted by starmagn at 12:30 AM | Comments (2)

November 23, 2007

I am AWESOME at baking.

I hope y'all had a wonderful Thanksgiving day, surrounded by family or friends or co-workers or pounds and pounds of rebellious flour.

As was I, on Wednesday (had to work on Thursday). I am happy to report that I successfully cooked my very first turkey, Puerto Rican style, with the neurotic guide of my mother on the phone (wow, phone bill this month will be astronomical). It was DELICIOUS! Like, I'm not kidding you! MMMMMMMMMM

While that fantastic 13 pound was cooking its glorious self, I was baking sweet little cupcakes. This is the second time I've attempted to make them. First time... well, it wasn't quite the success I was hoping. They improved the second time around, and I will not rest until they are as delicious (or close to) as Back in the Day Bakery's out-of-this-world cupcakes. There's just one challenging obstacle in my way...

I suck at baking. I am the ultimate suck. Evidence can be seen in the images below.

Flour is rebellious. It is also hard to take off of your hot pants. But I hear white flour stains are making a comeback in fashion next season.


This is the ground level of the disastrous mess I left in the kitchen.


But in the end, the cupcakes came out allright. Not life-altering, but for the moment, it brought my little soul to happier times.


HELLO THERE PRETTY CUPCAKE!!!! Must say, the frosting is KILLER! mmmmm! I might just eat it by itself like I did the first time. mmmm

Posted by starmagn at 01:22 AM | Comments (2)

November 17, 2007

If you like making love at midnight...

Why yes, Rupert Holmes, I do very much like making love at midnight AND also getting caught in the rain. But most of all, yes yes yes I do like pina colada. A whole lot. So much that I've been thinking endlessly about it for days and days and days until my heart couldn't take it any longer and bought me some sweet Bacardi rum, pineapple juice, Coco Lopes and...

I made pina colada!!!!!!! For the first time EVER. I am very proud of myself. VERY. The very dangerous part of this whole ordeal is that a full bottle of Bacardi Rum lies in my kitchen silently calling out to me in the middle of the night. But that's okay.

I'd like to illustrate how big my pina colada glass is. It's very huge.

That's me twirling abouts the giant glass. And that's a deSert rabbit. They're everywhere around here and every time I see one I yell, OH BUNNY WABBIT!!!11one!!! in a VERY high pitched voice.

Yes.

I am tipsy.

I love it.

I am drinking by myself.

I'd give anything to be sipping this pina colada with great friends and the promise of more alcohol.

*sigh*

Posted by starmagn at 01:39 AM | Comments (0)

October 28, 2007

Open letter to America.

Dear America,

Please stop playing the Electric Slide at wedding receptions all across your glorious Nation.

Cordially,

A very dumbfounded Caribbean girl.

A wedding or Zombies marching to the beat of your pulsing brains?

Posted by starmagn at 03:22 AM | Comments (2)

October 12, 2007

Discovering a land of gold and music

I believe I have declared my love for Feist loud and clear several times on my blog. From the moment I heard Mushaboom on the Sunday afternoon after my 25th birthday in April on my way to Gelatt-ohs with Brandon, Nessy (with her tiny hands sticking outside the sunroof caressing the Southern air) and the Gregster on the wheel, I knew I would fall in love with this radiant music forever. Feist's music, words and enchanting voice have soothed me in these months of confusion.

From listening to Feist I earned a little bonus in the form of another great musical act: Broken Social Scene. Now, I know I am way late in the game, most of y'all are already in love with them. But I just recently found out (few months ago). And honestly, honestly, honestly, this video below is one of the most beautiful, endearingly dizzying imagery I've ever seen.

Feist guest sang for Broken Social Scene a few short years ago, her voice adds an exciting layer to the ambient rock the band members produce. When I listen to their music, for some odd reason, I feel like driving up to the Ocean just before sunrise, when the darkness sadly whispers her last words of Victorian elegance and the waves welcome a new era of light and life.*

But by then I'll be gone.

More videos with Feist and bandmember Kevin Drew dueling so fantastically:

Oh and this is Feist singing Lover's Spit live with Kevin on the piano. MESMERIZING.

I can't wait to have a little bit more cash so I can purchase their records. Fantastic fantastic.

* Damn, I miss being a filmmaker.

Posted by starmagn at 01:41 AM | Comments (1)

September 21, 2007

Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the awesomest of them all?

Why me, of course. Duh. Found this fantasticallyawesomecol plaster-y frame at a thrift store a few weeks ago for only $3!!! How swell! I painted it white and is almost 3 feet tall. I have wonderful plans for it, that may or may not include a hidden recording playing More than a feeling on a hellish eternal loop. Oh yes. Big plans.

It's 5pm, a storm is brewin' far West and I'm having chocolate ice-cream. Life is good. Oh yezzzzz. (okay, sleep amy)

Posted by starmagn at 08:26 PM | Comments (2)

September 13, 2007

This is the coolest most wicked thing I have seen in my entire life.

Watch this video till the very end! It only gets better! I don't know who this Junior Senior are, but they have WICKED WICKED WICKED videos and it's 2:11 AM PST and I am CHAIR DANCING like its 1999!!!!!

This one is indie street fashion at its best!

OMG I am so pumped. lol. Just go to their myspace to check more vids out!

Posted by starmagn at 05:10 AM | Comments (0)

May 28, 2007

Redesign!

HOLY MACARONI!

I redesigned the blog!!! After realizing two years had passed since I created this blog, I thought it would be a grand time to redesign the thing. So I did. And here it is. What say you?

Posted by starmagn at 01:23 PM | Comments (1)

May 25, 2007

Happy 30th Birthday, Star Wars!!

Thirty years ago, a movie event unlike any other in cinema history took place at the Mann Chinese Theater in Hollywood Boulevard. Hundreds of people, young and old, lined up for a science fiction film with no big actor names and a relatively unknown young director. For many, this unforgettable screening would be one of the most memorable events of their lives (and one that us youngin's envy like hell).

My equally nerdy (maybe even more so) older brother was the prime influence for my love of all things sci-fi. I officially became a Star Wars fan in early 1993 when I had viewed all three movies in local Puerto Rican television, even though I like to believe my fandom dates as far back as 1983, where my Mom was forced to get her crying baby daughter out of Return of the Jedi's screening in San Juan (I guess I was just grossed out at Jabba). The very first English-language novel I ever read was Heir to the Empire in Summer of '93. I was hooked. I rewatched the films over and over again, especially Empire Strikes Back, the most layered and emotional of the trilogy (I mean come on, "Luke I am your father", you can't beat that).

Every teenager has a world to escape to, be it imaginary or real. Mine was Star Wars. I would bring my nerdy Star Wars paperbacks to class and read them. I have no idea how I never got my ass kicked. I was that girl. I didn't care. I loved this galaxy far, far away. I was intrigued with what became of Luke, Leia and Han after the Empire was overthrown, how they helped rebuild the New Republic and the Jedi Order and what became of their lives. I read all the novels, even fan fiction written by fans like me all over the world.

Two years ago, George Lucas and his team revealed plans for a live-action TV series. I was peeing in my pants from the excitement. Ideas flourished into my mind, then into paper while at work. A dark and gritty, post-Revenge of the Sith Galaxy where the very few remaining Jedis are still fleeing for their lives while hopelessly fighting againt the rising tyranny of Emperor Palpatine. Gosh, if I had stayed in the film department, I'd be whoring myself to Lucas just so I could write that series.

That's how much I love Star Wars. We know the looks we get from people. The roll of the eyes, the derogatory whispers. Whatevs. Through Star Wars I have met wonderful people, even a boyfriend who shared the same geeky sci-fi passion as me. Star Wars is as part of me as... my talent or my ridiculous humor. It is part of what I am, of what I still dream of at night. It's that fleeting promise that someday..someday, we might reach those far away stars and begin adventures of our own.

May 25, 1977, Mann Chinese Theater

Posted by starmagn at 02:41 AM | Comments (0)

April 06, 2007

at 9:43am

SRSLY, how? When did I even turn 20?!?!? And where's my damn hoverboard? GET OFF MY LAWN!

Posted by starmagn at 01:12 AM | Comments (0)

March 22, 2007

A hole for everytime I've ever loved you...

This chest with a wonderful floral design made from pressed metal is my favorite piece of furniture ever. I will definitely have it shipped to Vegas once I settle into an apartment. :D

Posted by starmagn at 12:22 AM | Comments (0)

March 20, 2007

My visual DNA

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Posted by starmagn at 11:15 PM | Comments (0)

Movin' out

Holy crap, I just realized I'm moving to Vegas in less than a month! THAT'S CRAZY TALK!!

Posted by starmagn at 01:56 PM | Comments (0)

March 15, 2007

Restless and penniless

I feel anxious. Restless. Eager for adventure and the open road, or ancient cobblestoned streets of San Juan, whichever comes first. Been home for a week now, but due to unforseeable emergency concerning my uber expensive camera dying and having to replace it with a less powerful model to photograph this Saturday's wedding, I am now dead out of money. Had to call my Insurance, my two student loans and credit cards and inform them they won't get a penny out of me this month. It's always something when I come home to Puerto Rico.

Janice and I want to embark on a road trip (funny thing, seeing as you can drive all around Puerto Rico in just five hours). There are places I've never seen, towns I only know by name. Hopefully, I'll get some money next week.

It doesn't help that I'm reading On the Road. Maybe I should put that down for the time being.

*sigh* So anxious.

Though I got some time to reacquaint myself with my old cassette tapes, dating to 1993, where I would spend hours and hours glued to my old Sony radio and record every damn song played on air. Some muffled sounds are so pleasing to your ear, they transport you back to... good times.

There was also a slight quake last night as I watched Colbert. 3.5 on the scale, but for a half second, the house shook as if God had stomped his foot on the ground, but decided He was just being childish and went on to more important matters. And it was over. My heart could not find calm for another hour.

Posted by starmagn at 06:32 PM | Comments (0)

February 28, 2007

Of R issues and (desperately) needing a BoyToy (Studies in linguistics)

(Had originally posted this as a MySpace bulletin, but it is too lengthy and random to leave there. Therefore, I will share with y'all.)

Eternally unable to roll my Rs (the foundation in which my Spanish language has stood upon for generations), I have been raging a battle with speech and linguistics throughout my entire existence. Knowing full well that some people are simply born shy, I have laid the blame of my introvert nature to this lovely inconvenient speech impediment. It's hard for me to talk in Spanish because it actually requires more energy (and patience) to get my message across*. Maybe I think too fast (unlikely, seeing as I am the slowest living being alive since the Galapagos Turtles, and y'all know them bitches is slow) and thus I trip on words and letters and UGH why do most words must have an R in them. Like the DREADED COMBO OF HATRED AND DISGUST, the "tr" (as in "enconTRaste") and the "dr" (cuaDRado, UGH how I abhor saying this word). Twice the hate and shame and humiliation if both join forces in one word, such as... "maDRasTRA"... (tra...tra...tra). People constantly ask to repeat myself...over and over and over ... multiply by 24 years and you can understand my issues (future boyfriend/husband/boy toy, please have patience if I get mad when I have to repeat myself to you, now you know why.. but then again, why are you so fuckin dense? Oh that's right, 'cause you're cute and dumb and I'm only using you for sex)**

In ways, this all explains why I was always the more "Americanized" of my group of friends and why I have ended up here in the US of A. There aren't any freakin Rs to roll in the Enligsh Language (unless you are a cultured, mustacchioed villain, in which case you MUST roll your Rs to show your superiority and evilness [think General Tarkin in Star Wars "We will cRRRush the RRRebel Alliance in One Swift Stroke***]). And while that is all fine and dandy, now I have to figure out what to do with this accent.

For the past five years it has been my goal to eradicate all signs of an accent in order to blend in with Americans, to avoid being prejudiced and/or stereotyped. I have listened with utmost attention (VERY dificult to do, because not only am I slow, I have the attention span of --- ooo balloons!) to how you Anglos speak, the ways you move your mouth, your hands; was delighted when my Cousin, The Actress, shared some tips from her Neutral American Accent class, such as pronouncing certain "S"s as subtle Zs or avoid speaking from your nose, since Spanish is a very nasal language, whereas English is a back-of-your-throat-sorta-thing.

Unfortunately, this rigorous